Ana's Story

Welcome to a New Season of Real Stories

This year is different. We are going live with video, and I am bringing real stories with real people from all over, because testimony matters. Healing is not theoretical. It is lived. It is messy. It is brave.

And today, my very first guest is my daughter, Ana.

She came into our lives in 2015 when she was 18, in an unconventional way that changed all of us forever. In 2022, my husband and I adopted her through an adult adoption, and watching her walk from survival to stability has been one of the greatest joys of my life.

This conversation is raw, tender, and full of what our family does best. Laughter and tears. Truth and tenderness. And a reminder that growth does not require perfection. It requires willingness.

When You Meet Someone in the Dark

Ana shares what life was like before she came to us. She was failing classes, on drugs, and living in a world where she felt forced to grow up too early. She describes that season as being as low as she could possibly be.

I remember meeting her and seeing something immediately. She was soft-spoken, shrinking herself, avoiding eye contact, almost trying to disappear. It was hard to watch, because even then, I could see the person she was before she could see her.

She did not come to us because life was tidy. She came to us because she needed a different kind of air to breathe.

Chasing Love, Trying to Fill the Void

One of the most honest parts of Ana’s story is how clearly she names her pattern. When you grow up without safety, you chase what feels like love. Even if it hurts you.

She talks about moving in and out, city to city, relationship to relationship, trying to fill a hole she could not name at the time. The kind of hole that comes from abandonment, trauma, and a lifetime of being unprotected.

And I name what is true, not as a judgment, but as clarity.

When self-worth is low, you give yourself what you believe you deserve.

The Escape Plan and the Week at the Airport

There is a section of this story that still hits me in the gut.

Ana describes being trapped in an abusive situation, watched, controlled, and harmed. She shares how she devised a plan with the help of coworkers to get out, and how she lived in an airport for a week waiting for her flight, eating what she could, surviving on almost nothing.

She also shares something that broke my heart.

Even then, she did not call us.

Not because we would not have answered, but because her nervous system had never learned what it meant to truly rely on someone.

This is what trauma does. It teaches you to survive alone, even when help is available.

The Truth About Growth

This episode is not just a story. It is a lesson in what growth actually looks like.

Ana says something that matters...You can know a lot and still not be ready.

And that is the part that so many people miss. Growth is not about information. It is about willingness. It is about reaching the moment where something inside you finally says, I want better.

I can teach. I can coach. I can preach. I can offer every resource in the world. But nobody can do the work for you.

You have to choose it.

The Goldfish Tank Moment

One of the most powerful images in the episode is when Ana explains what it feels like to leave chaos.

When you are used to toxic air, you forget how to breathe clean air.

Then she shares an analogy that is painfully accurate. If a goldfish lives in dirty water too long and you change it too fast, it can shock the system. Healing can feel like that. The good can feel overwhelming.

So we talk about baby steps. Acclimating to safety. Learning how to live without danger as your default setting.

The Catalyst That Changed Everything

Later in the timeline, Ana describes building a life she was proud of. A job. A car. An apartment. Furniture. Stability.

And then she describes what happened when she let someone into her life who did not match her growth.

Everything collapsed. Car repossessed. Eviction notices. Depression. Job loss. Another move with a top loader and whatever she could grab.

And when she tells this part, I hear the deeper truth beneath it.

The loss was not just stuff. It was the moment she saw what she was capable of, and how quickly she could lose herself again if she stayed tied to what was familiar.

Then comes the moment that shifts the entire story.

The boundary.

The ultimatum.

The choice.

She says it clearly. You can do whatever you want to me, but how dare you do that to my parents?

And that was the moment she chose herself.

Not perfectly. Not painlessly. But fully.

The Growth That Comes After Letting Go

There is a line in this episode that holds the heartbeat of the whole story.

It is not until we let go that we actually gain everything.

After that choice, things began to move. Jobs. New possibilities. A move across the country. College steps. A new relationship that looked different because her discernment was different.

Not because life became easy, but because she stopped living in a way that betrayed herself.

A Word for the One Who Feels Too Far Gone

I want you to hear this.

If you think you have been through too much. If you think you are too far gone. If you feel like you are drowning in your own story.

There is never an incorrect time to start your growth.

The time is whenever you are ready.

And if you do not have someone, I want you to know this. You are not alone. You are seen here.

This podcast is meant to be a place you belong.

Key Takeaways

✨ You can know what to do and still not be ready. Willingness changes everything.

✨ When you are used to chaos, peace can feel unsafe at first.

✨ You cannot grow someone for them, no matter how much you love them.

✨ Boundaries are not cruelty. They are clarity.

✨ Sometimes the thing you fear letting go of is the very thing that is holding you down.

✨ Freedom is possible, even after years of relapse into old patterns.

Final Thought

Ana’s story is proof of what I believe to my core. You are not past saving. You are not too broken. You are not too late.

LISTEN HERE! ANA'S STORY