I think one of the hardest feelings in the world is feeling like you’re doing everything you can and still wondering why your life doesn’t look different yet.
Why you’re not “there” yet.
Why things still feel messy.
Why healing still feels hard.
Why growth sometimes feels invisible.
If we’re not careful, we start to believe we are… Stuck.
But lately, I’ve been questioning that word.
Because after my conversation with Lily at the beginning of this month and the themes that kept rising afterward, I started realizing something:
What if we aren’t actually stuck at all?
What if we’re just in the middle of our healing?
The Problem With Only Looking at the End Goal
One of the things Lily talked about was how frustrated she would get in recovery because she wanted things to move faster.
She kept looking at where she wanted to be instead of recognizing where she already was.
And I think we all do this.
We measure ourselves against outcomes, achievements, timelines, and our visible progress. But healing doesn’t always work that way. A lot of growth happens underground first.
Quietly. Internally. Unseen.
Like a wound healing beneath the bandage.
Just because you can’t visibly see the process doesn’t mean nothing is happening.
My Walk To The Tree
A few mornings ago, I was outside after doing yoga.
I have been spending a lot of time reconnecting with rhythms that ground me again.
This year has stretched me in a lot of directions. Caring for others. Building. Growing. Supporting people through their own healing journeys while trying to stay connected to my own.
And somewhere in all of that, as most of us do, I drifted away from some of the things that keep me centered.
Writing.
Stillness.
Movement.
Connection with God.
So I’ve been intentionally coming back to them.
That morning, I was sitting in the grass barefoot after yoga, just trying to slow myself down enough to listen again.
And I felt this quiet nudge: Walk to the tree. There is a small tree at the end of our drive that is roughly an acre away, and normally this wouldn’t sound like a big deal except I live in Texas and it is sticker season.
If you know, you know.
Tiny, little painful stickers hidden all through the grass waiting to stab the life out of your feet.
And immediately my brain started calculating risk.
That tree suddenly felt far away.
But underneath all that overthinking, I felt another question rise up:
Do you trust Me?
Watching My Steps
So I started walking. Very carefully. Very intentionally. Watching every step.
And I remember looking up at the tree repeatedly, trying to see how much farther I had left to go.
But every time I did…
I felt redirected back down.
Watch your feet.
Not the tree.
Not the distance.
Not how long it was taking.
Just the next step, and before you know it, I had made it to the tree, sticker-free. And there I was, looking back at my yoga mat, going wow! I did it! I made it here, and no stickers. Then I had to walk back.
But this time, my confidence level was much higher. I mean, I made it here just fine, so I had less concern going back, and as I stepped out, I found myself moving quicker and paying less attention to my steps. When I had another check in my spirit and mind, going whoa! Slow Down! Watch your steps! So I did.
I slowed and started to watch my steps, listening to my intuition about the next step. When I made it back to my mat sticker-free and sat down, I breathed a sigh of relief that I had been spared the pain of the stickers, but I was also immediately met with a question.
What did you learn?
What Did I Learn?
I learned that one: when you step out, and things look risky, you have to have faith. We don't know what lies ahead of us, but we know that there are obstacles. I knew that there were stickers out there. I knew that there could be potential pain and hurt, but I didn't know what was going to happen. But I had to be willing to step out. I had to be willing to have the faith to do it.
Second, God was telling me to watch my steps. And in doing that, I was listening. I was listening for guidance. I was listening to my intuition versus keeping my eyes focused on the tree.
When I was focused on the tree, I was focused on the end goal. And had I constantly focused on the tree, I wouldn't have been looking at where I was going. I wouldn't have been paying attention. I wouldn't have been listening to the guidance on where to go next. And this is exactly what Lily was talking about.
The Tree Was Never the Point
And just like I had the entire trip from my yoga mat to the tree, if I'm so focused on the end, focused on my goal, my achievement, then I miss all of the in between. It’s the process that matters.
I looked at the tree like an achievement, but the truth is, the tree wasn’t actually an achievement at all; it was just a destination.
And I think we confuse those two things all the time.
We think peace is the achievement.
Wholeness is the achievement.
Sobriety is the achievement.
Healing is the achievement.
But really…they’re destinations we move toward through thousands of intentional steps. We are trying to get from here to there.
And we are constantly measuring ourselves against outcomes, timelines, and we rush, we don't pay attention, we're not quiet, we're not listening, we're not listening for guidance, we're not listening to ourselves, we're not listening to our higher power. And we skip the process. We're trying to skip the process. And in so doing, we can often feel like nothing is happening, right?
The Illusion of Being Stuck
I think what we often call “stuck” is actually internal movement we cannot yet see.
Because while nothing may appear to be changing externally, inside things are rearranging.
Your mindset is shifting.
Your identity is shifting.
Your nervous system is shifting.
Your spirit is recalibrating.
And that process can feel deeply uncomfortable.
Especially when you’re no longer who you were, but you don’t fully recognize who you truly are yet.
When You Don’t Recognize Yourself Anymore
Lily talked about feeling disillusioned sometimes.
Not knowing who she was anymore.
And honestly, I understood that deeply.
I remember periods in my own life where I’d look in the mirror and genuinely feel disconnected from the version of myself staring back at me.
Not because something was wrong, but because something was changing.
And I think this is important:
Confusion is not always a sign you’re failing.
Sometimes confusion is evidence that transformation is happening.
You’re shedding an identity that no longer fits while trying to grow into one that still feels unfamiliar. And it takes time.
Healing Is Not Linear
There are moments in healing where you feel grounded, peaceful, and clear.
And then there are moments where everything feels chaotic again.
You question yourself. You question the process. You wonder if anything is actually changing.
But healing has rhythms.
Recovery has rhythms.
Growth has rhythms.
And none of them move in straight lines.
That doesn’t mean you’re going backward.
It means you’re human. But you only need the next step.
One of the most powerful things Lily said was this:
“If I stop growing, I stop living.”
And I think that’s the invitation here.
Not perfection.
Not an immediate transformation.
Just willingness.
Willingness to keep moving.
Willingness to stay intentional.
Willingness to trust the process even when you cannot yet see the outcome. Because you do not need the entire path revealed to you. You just need the next step.
Key Takeaways
✨ Feeling stuck is often perception, not reality
✨ Not all growth is visible while it’s happening
✨ Healing happens internally long before it shows externally
✨ Focusing only on the destination causes us to miss the process
✨ Intentional steps matter more than rushed outcomes
✨ Confusion can be evidence of transformation
✨ Growth and recovery are not linear journeys
✨ You do not need the whole path, only the next step
Final Thought
If you’ve been feeling frustrated lately.
If you’ve been questioning your progress.
If you’ve been wondering why healing feels slower than you hoped.
I want you to remember this:
Just because you cannot see movement does not mean movement isn’t happening.
There is growth taking place inside of you right now that cannot yet be measured by visible results.
Keep walking.
Keep listening.
Keep paying attention to your steps.
And trust that even when the process feels uncertain. You are still moving toward freedom.
One intentional step at a time.
